Why we always loose what we search for???

we can put it like this, If we can stop searching our pre-imbibed memories and teaching then we will get the "fact" as it is !!!!

when we born our mind is at "tabula rasa" but later knowledge acquisition happens through  numerous middle men like books,parents,teachers, religion,philosophies etc etc,

So our mind starts to "search"  for the things which are poured into us by external factors or the so called middle men, and the dirtiest part is that we start to search for exactly the same way or nature what it has been told or taught to us by those middle man!!!
And this is where we get stuck!!!

Say for instance about a rose.... the people , the books and other middle men  have defined a feature/image about the rose and that is in our store/brain and when we actually look at "the rose" we start to search for the same features which is already registeredin our mind, in the rose which is Infront of us right now and apparently we will loose the rose!!!

So in my understanding and what I have been trying to follow is avoid all the pre occupied definitions which has given  to me , either I will empty my  cup  or break the cup or go back to "tabula rasa" and be an observer!!!

உனக்கான காதல்
கொட்டிக்கிடக்கும்
அதே வெட்டவெளியில்தான்
உனக்கான துரோகமும்
கிடக்கிறது.
இது வெட்டவெளியின் குற்றமல்ல!!!'
எனக்காகவும் உனக்காகவும்
எதுவுமில்லை
வெட்டவெளியில்
அது அது அதனியல்பிலிருக்கிறது
எனக்கானதாகவும்
உனக்கானதாகவும்
எண்ணுவம் என்ப இழுக்கு!!!